I used to be a coward when it came to standing up to bullies.  I would run the other way and become so sick to my stomach with fear and anxiety.   Somehow this changed.  Maybe it’s been motherhood, dealing with bad co-parenting situations with his ex or maybe I’ve just dealt with enough bullies and can’t take it anymore.


No one should have to deal with people who manipulate, guilt and intimidate to get their way.  People who do this have a sickness.  They need prayers.  They need help.  They also need someone to stand up and tell them to stop.

I’ve had a recent situation where I did exactly that.  It began with a mere misunderstanding.  Then the text messaging started.  One accusatory, attempted guilt causing text message after another delivered to my husbands phone.  Unwilling to talk it out like a rational adult, she continued to flood our home with one abusive message after another.  Finally it was time to stop her and regain balance in our home.  So I spoke up.

This wasn’t the first time I stood up to her. Of course she didn’t like it one but.  She took the matter up with my husband rather than taking it up with me.  She probably walked away feeling victorious. She probably thinks my hubby will keep me in check next time.

I will pray for her.  I will pray God helps her deal with the unhealthy co-parenting habits she has learned to rely on.  I will also continue to stand up to her.  I will protect our home and our family.  She is not allowed to bully us or drag our family into her toxicity.

This morning I had my weekly weigh in.  I managed to shed those two extra pounds this week.  There have been a few days where my diet wasn’t ideal, so I’ll take it!  I was a little frustrated two hours later after my shower when the scale added three pounds.  I’m still claiming the first reading.  This week I am going to drink more water and increase my physical activity.  Do I have a legal 18 coming my way next weekend?  Yes I do!

Staring down at the scale I felt an incredible sense of loss.  That is “loss” in a good way.  It’s amazing how powerful one number can be.  It can make your morning or break it, leaving you discouraged and disgusted with yourself.  This morning my number left me feeling encouraged and hopeful.  Reaching a total loss of 14lbs in two weeks is a pretty good feat.  Next week I hope to be at a total of 16lbs.  Losing never felt so good!

We often forget just exactly how fragile life is. God gives us no promises of tomorrow. Yet, we go on about our daily lives as if we are invincible. We make choices that we shouldn’t and live our lives carelessly. Perhaps this is, in a way, God’s gift to us. That we can enjoy life on this earth without thought of our eventual demise. Of course, to God our physical end is not a demise at all. It is a mere beginning to our eternal life with Him. Though, however you slice it, death means goodbye to this world and all we have ever known. It means goodbye to our loved ones, as we have known them.


I’ve thought about what it will be like when either myself or my husband leaves this world. Whichever of us is left behind will go through great pain. We will have held the love of our life for the last time. Kissed for the last time. Had coffee together, snuggled together, saw a sunset together for the last time. I’m not anywhere ready to deal with that. 


 Although, this past weekend, for a few long moments, I thought I was going to have to. Fear struck every fiber of my body as I watched my husband tumble to the ground. This man, who has always been MY rock…. Who was unsinkable in my eyes was suddenly fragile. We had been watching a jousting tournament at the Renaissance Festival. It was humid and rainy. Fifteen minutes into the show he mentioned to me he wasn’t feeling well. A few minutes later he was falling to the ground. The look in his eyes still haunts me. He was disoriented and in shock over what had just happened. I leaned down to help him up and began yelling for help. As others came to our rescue I dropped back feeling helpless and scared that I was going to have to leave that festival without him. When the medics arrived he had began to converse with them and others around him. Although hearing his voice was a comfort to me, I was still very shaken up and uncertain about what might lie ahead.


Choices brought us to that place of fear and uncertainty. We fell into the trap of feeling as though heart attacks, strokes, embolisms or any other life threatening circumstances could never happen to us. We failed to heed the warnings of poor diet choices and poor lifestyle choices. We somehow ignored the weight gain, rise in blood pressure, cholesterol and general feelings of unhealthiness. Those choices which ruled our lives for so long needed to change.


I feel confident that my husband is still in fairly good health and I don’t worry about him leaving me anytime soon. But I want so many more good years with him. I love him more than any food, comfy couch, or television show. From now on, I choose him. I choose life with him.

Today began with sharing the wisdom and live of our awesome God with about 25 kids :). Then we spent the rest of the day with family.

I love my family so very much! Today B was cold. I love is when he snuggles up with me to find a blanket of warmth :). Today at church I talked with another mom who is having big problems with her son saying mean, hurtful things to her. I thank the Lord that we do not have those troubles with our boys. They seem to understand the importance of treating each other with love. We really put emphasis on that with our family. We all deserve to be treated with love and respect. I hope this is one thing they will carry with them to their other house and beyond their childhood years. I love watching them grow into young men, but I also kind of wish they could stay children for a while longer. I want to remember them this way. Sweet, innocent, caring and a strong compassion for people around them. My prayer is that they are able to grow into selfless men who love the Lord, love their families and constantly look for ways to show other the love of our Savior. Selfless, passionate, with a strong sense of servant hood.

As for my diet,
I really did not have any cravings today. I proteined up for breakfast, had a snack of fruit and nuts, a lunch of protein and fruit, then dinner of protein and veggies. I did snack on fruit while others were having their dessert, but I had NO urges to go grab a piece of brownie for myself. Self control is finally within my capabilities :)

This week has NOT been easy. I have had nausea, intestinal issues and tiredness. This weekend I decided to go a little more lax with the diet, but not too much. I felt nausea again today with the zucchini. Not sure what is up with that.

I have lost 12 lbs which puts me under my danger zone. I need to keep going with the small meals and veggies/ fruit.

One more week until phase 2!

This is day one of my PCOS cleanse. I will go for 14 days then add some whole grain and more meat into my diet. The cleanse will help me to free my body from toxins, sugars and hormones from meats.

I started this cleanse because I have been feeling tired, cloudy minded and swollen. My hope is to give myself a good foundation to maintain a healthier eating style and eventually get back to good health. It’s not so much about losing weight for me this time. I want to feel healthy and have energy to accomplish much more in life that I am currently.

Right now, on day one, I feel lousy. The intestinal issues have already started. And I realize that I will need to help my stomach out by chopping some of my veggies into smaller pieces.

I am hoping I will feel better by days three and four. After day fourteen, I will begin my next phase… Physical activity. I’ll start by walking 20 min a night. Then I will build myself up to 30 minutes.

It will be a journey … One that I hope will result in a much healthier self :)

Family and friends are very important to me. I believe God places us in the lives of others for a reason. We often question how others fit into our lives and how they affect us. What about the other way around? How can we positively affect the lives of those around us? What might seem like a troubled relationship could really be an opportunity to make a difference for someone else. Many times it might be hard to see the difference we are making. I believe that every relationship is a gift. And not all gifts make us feel warm and fuzzy inside. It isn’t always about us and how we feel. Sometimes it is more about what we learn about ourselves and how we make others feel.

I can’t breath out of the left side of my nose. Laying down makes it worse. Plus it is hot in our room, so I am sleeping downstairs in the recliner.

I’m sleepy and restless. Lately a full night’s rest is rare and should be treasured like rubies. Someday I’ll sleep well again… Maybe.

I miss my boys already :(. It will be odd waking up without them here. It usually is on Monday mornings. I hope they get plenty of rest and feel better tomorrow.

I have goals this week. Big ones. Laundry, homework, housework, gardening, researching pool rashes are all on my list. I need to be productive tomorrow. I need to exercise too and drink tons of water.

We go on vacation in three weeks. I need to feel healthy by then. So, I am committing myself to drink only water (and lots of it), eat no sugar or bread, eat lots of veggies, and exercise daily. In three weeks I should feel better and able to enjoy our trip.

Summer is half over and that makes me sad. Somewhere inside of me is a housewife that is aching to do all kinds of domesticated things every day. Another side of me looks forward to going back to work and hiring a cleaning lady. I also long for cooler, crisper air. The mountains sound nice.

I want to plan an extra fun week for when the boys come over next. Sleep over with their cousin, play date with friends, cool craft projects are all in the works. Maybe we will do a mentos and diet coke experiment. I’ll have to see if Walmart or Krogers is having a sale :)

I worry about our oldest getting saved. Will it ever happen? My heart breaks to think of an eternity without him. It breaks even more to think if him spending an eternity in hell.

I feel hungry, but it is too late to eat. I must sleep or I won’t be productive tomorrow.

Goodnight… I hope :)

I do believe that my son has entered the tween portion of his life. Praying that God grants us the wisdom and patience we will need to help him grow into a strong, Godly young man.